Abstract This article is a first person account of wrestling with spiritual questions and issues by an individual who has lived with a chronic mental illness since the age of 17. Writing about her own life story and struggle with mental illness, she brings to the fore issues of what we pray for and how; the meaning of suffering; a closer examination of the sometimes frivolous ways we ask God to intervene in our lives; and a struggle to understand the meaning of healing, and its place in the life of a person with a chronic mental illness.